“But he [Thomas] said to them, ‘Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.’” – John 20:25.

What do you have to see to believe? Throughout history, God’s people have always struggled with doubt. This comes down to doubting God’s promises: God promised to provide food for the Israelites in the wilderness, children to Abraham, Jesus promised to rise from the dead... And in every instance, people who had seen and spoken with God and seen incredible miracles doubted that God would deliver. They wanted to rely on themselves and what they could see and touch rather than a God who they couldn’t see and touch. When God gave manna to the Israelites, they were only to gather as much as they needed for each day, and double that the day before the Sabbath. The first day that God gave manna, Moses told them, “No one is to keep any until the morning”, but many of them wanted to stock up and paid no attention to this command. The next day, maggots started eating their hoarded food and it began to stink (a very ironic punishment). But even though they doubted God, God still gave them new food the next day to replace the rotted food.

In the same way, even though Thomas doubted Jesus’s promise to rise from the dead and doubted the testimony of others that he had, Jesus was still merciful and patient with him. He showed up the next week and let Thomas see and touch him. And in response Thomas believed and acknowledged Jesus as Lord and God.

How do we respond when God provides for us? Whether we realize it or not, we are completely reliant on him for everything. God cares about making us realize this, but he is merciful and loving with us too. Though we doubt him repeatedly and rely on ourselves, God continues to provide and give us everything we need day by day to follow him. For me, it’s always been easy to take God’s provision for granted, thinking, “Of course I have food to eat and clothes and a home, I work hard for these things!” But my job, my health, my ability to work, these are all gifts from God. I’ve been reminded of this over and over in the past six weeks, all the freedoms I take for granted can be taken away in a moment. I was reminded this week that God doesn’t despise our doubts and fears. He calls us to turn to him with our doubts and fears, even when we doubt that he loves us or is in control or even exists. He is the God who hears us and knows us. And when we realize this, when we see him providing for us, we can, like Thomas, praise him as Lord and God of everything.

~Philip Noell