I remember the first time my own legalistic tendency wrecked me. I was a freshman in college and I got invited to a barbeque with some friends from a new campus ministry I was trying. The evening began with food and games, but quickly turned into what I had seen college parties portrayed as in movies- drinking- some were underage, beer pong, and rowdy shenanigans. I can remember driving home so astounded that these Christian college students would engage in such behavior and pretty quickly decided that was not the college ministry for me. I was really disheartened and even shared my shock with the campus pastor over coffee. A few weeks later I was reading my bible in the library and read this passage in Luke 18,

“He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

I was the tax collector. I had been so caught up in the wrongness of the actions of the underage drinking that I had failed to see my self-righteous attitude towards my brothers and sisters in Christ. I can remember crying and confessing my sin in that corner of the library and ended up gaining some of my deepest friendships and growth from that college ministry.

On Sunday, Jeff White reminded us of the danger and deceptiveness of legalism. As an Enneagram one, I tend to hold tightly to the right and wrong, black and white view of things. But, legalism infects and divides the church and destroys how Christ’s body was meant to live together. Legalism heightens our judgementalism and causes us to forget the beauty of the giver of the law. The law cannot save us, only the one who gave us the law can. I often have to repent of my legalistic goodness, my desire to appear godly rather than desiring to be truly changed by Jesus.

It was refreshing to be reminded that God’s grace alone purifies us and makes us zealous for true good works. God can turn our duty and legalism into joyful obedience. When I stand before the throne, even my goodness and rightness is stained by my prideful heart. All I can do is plead the blood of Christ, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”

~Bronwyn Siebert