Last week I attended my cousin’s wedding. As I made my preparations, I wanted to give the couple a gift to help celebrate their new life together, but what should I get them? I had never met the bride, and I didn’t know anything about her personal likes and dislikes. Enter the Wedding Registry - an amazing invention that has been taking the stress and uncertainty out of gift-buying since 1924. I didn’t have to guess what the bride might enjoy, because she had already provided that information in great detail. Now if I had met the bride a few times and had a better sense of her personality, I would have been more comfortable deviating from the exact items in the registry and getting something similar. And when I know someone well, I often enjoy the time and effort of coming up with a special gift that they haven’t asked for.

So what does that have to do with Titus 2:3-5 and Paul’s instructions for the women of Crete? I’m glad you asked. Like many people, I have previously had a tendency to take these verses only at face value. And as a result, I tended to skip over them after feeling vaguely uncomfortable for a few seconds. First I spend a moment asking myself if I’m an older woman or a younger woman, and the Bible for some reason doesn’t specify age ranges. Then moving on: Husbands...children...working at home? Nope, nope, and not really an option in my case. Should I feel guilty or unfulfilled for being single and having a career? Clearly there’s more to it than that, as Paul encourages both men and women to remain unmarried in 1 Corinthians 7. At this point I usually file these verses as “not relevant to my situation” and move on. Note that I’ve conveniently overlooked all the parts about being reverent, self-controlled, pure, and kind.

In his sermon, Josh encouraged us to look at the bigger picture of this passage. So how should I be reading it? Historically, Paul wrote to Titus about how to instruct and encourage the early churches in Crete. These new believers were still figuring out what it meant to be followers of Christ in the midst of their pagan culture. In the first chapter, Paul warns against the circumcision party and those who would try to drag them into legalism. But if Christianity doesn’t mean strictly obeying the law, how should they behave instead? Should they just keep on behaving like everyone around them (liars, evil beasts, and lazy gluttons, according to v. 1:12)? Or should their lifestyles in some way reflect the Gospel they had received?

Finally getting back to the wedding registry analogy: for a people who wanted to show love for God but didn’t know what that looked like, here’s a list of some of the characteristics that please him. Not a checklist of duties to perform, but ideas for how our lives should be ordered “so that the word of God may not be reviled” (or in the positive sense, so that the word of God may be glorified). God’s gift registry, if you will. And it’s not grand gestures or sacrifices but the little, everyday things like kindness, loving your family, and not posting hateful tirades about The Other Side on social media. Just like a gift registry, the better I come to know God, the easier I am able to understand how he wants me to behave in light of “the grace of God that has appeared, bringing salvation for all people” (v. 2:11).

I’ll end with one final thought: To stretch the analogy just a bit further, the time I spent perusing my cousin’s wedding registry helped me get to know his bride a little better - even if it was only in the context of colors and decorating preferences. Maybe as I look again at this passage in Titus, I can discern something about the character of God based on how he wants his people to live.

~Joanna Hinks