There was a lot in the sermon that hit home for me this week…not in a cliché like “it really resonated with me” sort of way though…more like a “punch in the gut” sort of way.

Justin began by posing a question: what is your nightmare, what is that ultimate fear that gets replayed? We were created, and intentionally designed to fear God. However, if God and the fear of God is not at the forefront of our minds, that leaves us incredibly prone to replace what we were designed to fear with whatever else is on our minds. It hit me; the less I esteem God as worthy of being feared, the more likely I am to become fearful of something else.

For me that something else is usually either uncertainty or failure, these are the two major “fears” at the core of my little every day worries. Facing uncertainty feels like walking on one of those super scary bridges you see in the movies… you know, the type that spans a giant ravine, has missing boards, is made of old ropes, might be overgrown by vines, and definitely looks like it’s about to snap at any minute… I want to know for CERTAIN that the bridge will hold before I get out there, and I feel the same paralyzing fear about other aspects of my life that don’t involve bridges… I just want to be sure that the plan is solid and safe (and I love plans just for that reason... they shield me from uncertainty!). As far as fear of failure goes…I’m really afraid of not being a sensitive, helpful, competent counselor to my clients. I’m afraid of not being a patient, loving, and supportive wife to Michael. I’m afraid of falling short as the church administrator, leaving tasks undone, forgetting the details I’m supposed to remember, not knowing how to do administrative things. I’m fearful of falling short and not measuring up in these roles.

So, quite literally my nightmare is falling off a rickety bridge in the heart of the jungle (does that ever happen to you guys? Ya know—you wake up flailing because you feel like you’re falling? Someone please say they can relate…anyone…Bueller?) But how do these two fears haunt me daily? They sabotage my fear of the Lord! The opposite of feeling uncertainty is having total assurance, and the opposite of failure is success…so basically without fearing the Lord, I’m unwilling to trust Him to guide my paths or to believe that he’ll make me worthy...so I depend on myself to, and that ends up being a lot of pressure. Which is where another part of Justin’s sermon struck me.

We as humans (me, specifically by trying to avoid uncertainty and failure at all costs) take on the role of restorer. We want to be the hero, taking away our need for a savior. But that’s not the way God designed us, and that’s not how he promises to bring restoration.

“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God who has dealt wondrously with you. And my people shall never again be put to shame. You shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God and there is no one else.”

Joel 2:25-27

When I think about the two things I tend to become fearful over, failure and uncertainty, I have to give myself a break for a quick moment…I mean, those are scary things in life…then I have to look back to truth. That’s what is so insane about the Gospel--because God has promised to be our Restorer, I can step out into these "scary" areas of life without fear. I can be vulnerable by stepping out into uncertainty, and by engaging in the roles I’ve been called to even though I will make mistakes--because I know that God is at work for His glory and for my good. In the fear of the Lord we can have strong confidence (Proverbs 14:26), but under the fear of anything else… it makes sense that we’d be terrified! That’s what God has come to rescue us from; the life he calls us out of is one of fear and timidity. When we fear the Lord, who is ultimately good and all-powerful, no other fear makes sense.