The sermons through the book of Revelation have been some of my favorites preached at City Pres since we moved to Albuquerque three years ago. I am not only enjoying studying a complex and intimidating book of the Bible, but it has brought fresh perspective to my heart. This Sunday, Revelation 13:1-10 did just that, again. This question, “What has my allegiance? What has my worship?” has been sounding in my head since Justin posed it to us on Sunday.

In this passage of scripture, we clearly see how the master manipulator, the devil, deceives people in the world. We are given similar language to describe the beast as we are given to describe Jesus. Satan is skilled at taking the real deal and creating a counterfeit version that appeals to all our desires and loves. Justin reminded us that the devil is a creature, therefore does not have the power to create things that do not already exist. He takes something good that God has created, morphs it into something that appeals to us, but leaves God out of the equation.

So here I sit, wrestling through this reality, all the while examining areas of my life where my worship is misplaced. How have I been duped? Lately, the biggest struggle in my life is in parenting. Toddlerhood has brought its’ share of frustrations, anxiety, confusion, and anger. It often feels like most days I have no idea how to really reach Lucy’s heart and all I really care about is for her to listen and the day to be easy. I worship ease, comfort, and things I can control. We had a few hard days, all in a row, last week. I cried a lot-mostly out of exhaustion and anger. I remember crying after I asked Lucy if she needed to go potty, she just looked at me and peed on the bathroom rug. I told Stephen, “I don’t know what I am doing, why won’t she listen to me?” I felt helpless. I reached out to my family, some friends, Stephen, Facebook, and eventually turned to the Lord in prayer, all for some piece of wisdom I could cling to. But, truthfully, she has had a lot more good days than bad since then. And I sat in church on Sunday and realized I got what I wanted. I had a week of more easy than hard, and I did not thank God for that. I praised myself! I got her to bed earlier, came up with a fun song to sing at bath time, found positive motivators, etc.

What has my allegiance? Myself. I value anything that makes my day easier, does not inconvenience me, or cause me to rely too much on anyone else. When Lucy has a rough day and throws a tantrum, I take it personally because, well, how dare she throw off my plans or ideals for our day? I am so convicted about all of this. Also, so thankful Justin did not just leave me in this place. But, he reminded me, as does this passage in Revelation, that there is a way we cannot be fooled. We MUST know the REAL THING! How can I combat the lies and temptations? I must know God’s Word. This is the only thing that can defeat the beast.

I am clinging to this hope. We serve a God who didn’t seek all the easy things for his best life, but instead laid down his life. He has all the authority to make things as easy as possible, but this isn’t what he chose. As we are reminded in John 10, “No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord”. This is true in parenting or any of the ways the devil presents us with counterfeit alternatives. By knowing God’s Word and laying down our lives we can look ahead to the day when the beast will be permanently silenced.

~ Bronwyn Siebert