So in the last few years, I’ve had to move around quite a bit because of my job. In fact, I’ve had three different addresses in the last 18 months, as I’ve been going through an Air Force training program. Moving sucks. Besides the hassle of putting all your stuff in boxes, moving to a new place means that all the energy you’ve invested in finding the best place to get lunch, discovering shortcuts to work, and updating your car insurance is now invalid. All the time and care that you poured into meeting new friends, and building relationships, now has to be reinvested in new people. If you were lucky enough to find a great church at your old place, you have to say goodbye and hope that you find a new one that’s almost as good.

That was my fear, at least. It turned out to be unfounded. When I left Texas, I was sure I wouldn’t find anyplace nearly as good as Del Rio Bible Church once I moved to North Carolina. But, I did. When I left North Carolina, I was sure I would never find anyplace as good as Pillar Church. But, I did, here at Crossroads. So maybe there are three really good churches in the country, and I have been lucky enough to attend all three of them. Or maybe God has designed the church to be a place where people belong and feel loved, and there are places like that everywhere. I imagine it’s probably the second one.

There are some great things that I’ve noticed about churches over the last few months, things that made the experiences so positive at each place. First off, just as Christ loved us unconditionally, the people at these churches have loved me unconditionally. Secondly, the more I got involved, the closer I became with everyone. And finally, seeing love in action in these groups has made me realize that being nice isn’t a zero-sum game.

I felt loved right away at these three churches. It was pretty evident that Christ’s unconditional love for man was overflowing out of these people. That through him, they were able to love beyond a normal human capacity. My very first Sunday at Pillar Church, this guy Jon introduced himself to me and invited me over for lunch. It was only as I was on the way to his house that I realized, he wasn’t just a nice dude, he was also one of the two lead pastors. One of the very first questions he asked me was, “So, what can I do to serve you while you are here? How can I help you out?” I was taken aback. And he didn’t just mean help me with church-type stuff, like growing in Christ (although he certainly did help me with that). He meant with anything. Helping me move, helping me adjust to my new home, having me over for meals. But the spiritual effect of that was profound. It made me realize that there isn’t spiritual “church-stuff” and non-spiritual “regular-stuff”. It’s all spiritual. Loving and being loved, serving and being served, is what the body of Christ is about. If something that crazy can happen with just two people, imagine the effect when you have love and kindness flying back and forth between dozens, or hundreds, of people.

Another thing I noticed is that getting involved is sort of a catalyst for building close relationships at church. When I first started going to Del Rio Bible Church, I pretty much showed up for the service, heard the sermon, and left afterwards. It was pretty good. People knew me, people were nice to me. But getting involved made it even better. A few of my friends started teaching Sunday school, and suddenly it became what all the cool kids were doing. So I signed up too. All of the sudden, all the kids knew my name, and all the parents knew my name, and I realized that I wasn’t just hanging with my bros teaching Sunday school, I was shaping young minds and helping children learn about Christ. Obviously I knew those two facts beforehand, but only academically – experiencing them firsthand made it take on a more personal meaning. I was worried that committing to the extra time would take time away from other things, but it really didn’t. Or maybe it did. I’m not sure. But what I do know is that it filled me with such joy, and helped me grow so much, spiritually, that I would do it again in a heartbeat. And it doesn’t have to be just Sunday school. At the other churches I’ve been to, I’ve helped out with the audio stuff, I’ve helped out with communion, etc. It doesn’t really matter what it is. I think at the end of the day, doing something that serves Christ, side by side with other people who love him, will bring you closer to God and man, in the best way possible.

I don’t remember where I first heard the term zero-sum game, but it immediately resonated with me. There’s a limited amount of stuff, and if one person gets extra stuff, someone somewhere else is going to have to get less stuff. (I’m sure an economist has a better explanation, but this one will do for now.) It’s a great way to make sense of the world, but there are some cases in which it can’t be applied. Love is one of them. I used to figure that in order to be nice to people, they have to be nice to you. In order to forgive someone, they have to apologize. In order to give love, you have to get some. But that’s not remotely true. We love because God first loved us, and he has unlimited love. So if we can get it from him for free, we can give away as much as we want, and not run out. (In fact, that might be one reason why he gives us so much, if you think about it.) At Crossroads, I started going to a small group the first week of September. I immediately had over a dozen new friends. In fairly short order, we shared our stories, and shared our struggles. After just a few weeks, the people from this small group were walking beside me through life, rooting for me, and praying for me, and I for them. The environment was such that, even though we hadn’t known each other long, we knew each other well. We could comfortably share very serious things in the group. That kind of immediate closeness is one of my favorite things about being in a group of Christians. The part I like best is that none of it was tentative; after introductions were made, I was a full member of the group, just like the people who had been in it way longer than me. Rather than a zero-sum game, it seems like the more love you give away, the more you end up left over with. It’s remarkable.

After seeing such a beautiful example of how to treat new people, in three different places in a row, I would be wrong if it didn’t try to do the same when I meet the next new guy. From the second I walked in to any of these places, I wasn’t just some guy, I was Barrett. This is what the Body of Christ means to me – a group of people who, through serving God, also grow close to one another in love and trust. Albuquerque is my final stop in this long season of training- next week I will head to my permanent duty station. The love, acceptance and hospitality of Crossroads have made my time in here one of spiritual growth and great joy. While I look forward to what’s next, Crossroads will join my growing list of churches that have been a loving home to me.

“Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” – Matthew 18:20