Menu

A faithful presence of love in the absences of our city.

Reforming Our Loves

reforming our loves

My heart has felt really unhealthy these past couple of years. I have been experiencing and seeing a whole lot of myself and not seeing and experiencing the God who saves me from myself. I am definitely a worshipper - just not always worshipping what is right and true. I have begun to realize just how much I cling to the liturgies and practices of the world instead of those practices that help tune my heart and body back to God.

What does this look like, you may ask? Justin’s sermon on Sunday unfortunately gave me plenty of examples that I see present in my own life...

In moments of intense loneliness and despair, my heart has given into the world’s lies that God is absent. I have given up on spending time with my Maker and tried to fill my loneliness with distractions. Instead of responding to God’s work with worship, I continue my mindless chatter - believing that I hold my day, my life, in my own hands. I have no desire to listen to my Father because I’m too busy listening to myself and the affirmations of friends and family. I have not affirmed human dignity and rather I have taken part in dehumanizing behavior because I would rather harden my heart towards others than realize that I am also in desperate need. I ignore the needs of others because ultimately life is about... me. I have been cynical in the face of the hope of God’s redemptive work.

A couple of weeks ago, I sat at my keyboard attempting to (poorly) play the song “Jesus I Come.” I was enjoying my time of playing and singing until I got to these words:

Out of unrest and arrogant pride,

Jesus I come; Jesus I come

Into Thy blessed will to abide,

Jesus I come to Thee.

Out of myself to dwell in Thy love…

I was shocked as my casual music session became a moment where God met me. I started sobbing in the middle of my empty house as I stared at the lyrics in front of me, realizing how much my restlessness and pride, my sin, had a hold of me. The liturgies of the world that I had been holding onto (worship of self and denial of God’s presence) came crashing down, as I admitted to God how extremely desperate I was to dwell in His love rather than in myself.

This past Sunday, Justin talked about the importance of Christian worship because it acts as a protest against the liturgies of the world and it also reforms our disordered loves. It protects us from the loves of the world and sets our hearts on the One who is worthy of praise.

In contrast to the liturgies that have previously held my heart, in Christian worship we proclaim the presence of God in a world that says He is absent. We declare that He is with us. God calls us into worship and we respond to Him declaring that He is Lord. We confess the reality of who we are and we also protest anything that calls God’s love for us and His assurance of pardon into question. Worship is done corporately as we pray for each other in the midst of a world that says, “It’s all about you.” We learn to lament well. We proclaim shalom in a meaningless age. We sing songs of hope in a cynical age…

God, reform my loves. Let me taste, see, and experience You. Let your work in my heart turn me towards others, however terrifying that may be. Let our corporate worship set us apart from the rest of the world as we proclaim peace instead of violence and as we strive for diversity instead of sameness. Let us see intention, earnestness, generosity, and beauty instead of a fruitless search for youth, money, and busy (distracted) hearts. And in all things, to You be the glory.

~ Taeler Larsen