Do you ever sit in church on Sunday and small things warm your tired and weary soul? That is how Sunday felt for me. There was no earth-shattering moment, or lightning bolt from heaven, but the Lord used small moments to remind me of his goodness and care for me.

As we sang the hymn, “Abide with me”, the line that says, “Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies, Heav’n’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee: In life, in death, Lord, abide with me” was a beautiful reminder. “Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies”- things have felt heavy lately. Sometimes the brokenness of the world feels so weighty. As a family we have been processing a friend’s unexpected divorce, another friend’s mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer, a firefighter Stephen worked with shockingly took his own life last week. And I am left trying to wrestle through the realities of our fallen world and the goodness of God. But, this hymn lifted that weight, “Heav’n’s morning breaks” and reminded me that the Lord’s goodness and character shines through all this gloom.

Pastor Breidenbach’s message about keeping our eyes on the prize, held many other heart checks for me. We pick up in the life of Jacob when his father, Issac has sent him to Laban, to find a wife. Jacob is immediately taken with Rachel. But, he is tricked and instead marries Leah, after having worked 7 years, then having to work an additional 7 years to marry Rachel. Jacob needed to have an obedience of faith and God used this story to refocus Jacob’s heart, humble him, and his marriage to Leah brought about the 12 tribes of Israel. Sometimes the thing we think we want to happen, is not what will bring God the most glory. This is so hard for me. Keeping eyes on the prize, means sometimes not understanding, and yet still trusting the story God unfolds for us. This C.S. Lewis quote stood out to me:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

Often times, we don’t get what we want. We don’t understand why God doesn’t redeem their marriage or heal them from cancer. I struggle with wondering why the Lord doesn’t take away my propensity to control things, to lash out in anger at my children, or to quickly judge someone based on external appearances. But, as this quote reminds us, all the things the Lord is doing that perceivably don’t make any sense, he is giving us exactly what we need. He is making us more like Jesus. When Jesus came, people thought he was coming to free them from Roman rule, but, he didn’t give them what they wanted. He gave them what they needed- he died, he rose, he ascended, and he sent the Holy Spirit. And hear this friends, just as Isaac sent Jacob to get his bride without money, offerings, or camels, Jesus doesn’t require us to bring anything to come to him.

There are so many things that the Lord reminded me of on Sunday- that God’s goodness shines through the brokenness, that He gives us what is best, that He is making us more like Jesus, and that we can come to him just as we are. I hope that gives your heart great courage and comfort today.

~Bronwyn Siebert