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A faithful presence of love in the absences of our city.

Grace for Our Kids

Well guys, I have been a parent for a little over 8 months now, so that qualifies me to write the blog on parenting right? In all honesty, my few months in this role have been the most challenging of my life. We are starting to enter a new realm of parenting with Lucy as she becomes more and more mobile and her personality shines through. As we begin to navigate all this entails, I can already feel the temptation to want a “well-behaved” child. I want others to think I am a good mom, who is wise and caring. It is challenging to think about how my primary goal is to love her unconditionally even when she does not do what I want her to in the moment.

Gloria Furman in her book, “Missional Motherhood” relates disciplining children to the people of Israel in the Old Testament. We sometimes look at our children and ask “Will they ever learn?” and we ask the same question of Israel as we read their story in the Bible. Furman notes, “God required obedience from the heart. No physical sign (like circumcision) was ultimately enough. We know what this pattern is pointing us to-the new creation. We need new hearts. For God’s people to truly love and obey him, they needed more than rules. They needed new hearts-hearts with his good law written on them. God had to transform his people from the inside out”.

Ouch. This is HARD. I can try to control my child’s outward behavior through the law, but I cannot actually change her heart. The visible, socially acceptable behaviors are a lot easier to focus on which, places a burden on parents to get it right. But, the more I ponder God’s truth, there is a lot of comfort in knowing my child’s salvation is not dependent on how wonderful of a parent I am. As Pastor Justin pointed out- knowing that Jesus is our righteousness frees us. This reality is what we are called to live out before our kids.

During the sermon we were reminded of practical ways we can unconditionally love our kids. They were:

1. Forgive them

2. Confess your sins

3. Do not provoke them to discouragement

4. Empathize with your kids

5. Make sure they can always come home

The last point becomes central to how we interact with our children. By loving them unconditionally, we show them that they can never be out of the grip of grace. And that points them to a God who perfectly loves them; a God who can change their heart; a God who has been faithful, merciful, gracious, and knows them intimately. When they fail, may we be like the father in the parable of the prodigal son upon his wayward sons return, proclaiming, “While he was still a long ways off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him…let us eat and celebrate…For this my son was dead, and is alive again: he was lost, and is found” (Luke 15: 20,23,24).

I am pleading for God to save our children. I am clinging to the promise that he will remove their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Let us daily hold out Christ’s righteousness before them.

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