“And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed.  And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.” (Luke 8:47-48)

In December of 2016, I looked down at my phone to find one word that would become engrained in my brain for the next year: "Slut." Over the course of the next year, I saw and heard this word and far worse words labeling me again and again and again. There was no escaping what this particular individual thought of me, no matter what I did. Two broken phones, a changed cell phone number, and deleted social media accounts later... I still heard these words. The words reached me through friends who this individual delighted in contacting when he could no longer reach me, they reached me as I replayed recordings for law enforcement and judges as I cried out for someone's help, and they also reached me as I repeated them in my own head again and again. After hearing yourself labeled something for so long, you start to believe that is who you are. 

Now, over two years since that first contact from this individual, I got to spend this past weekend with many of the women at City Pres as we gathered together, drank coffee, and discussed three encounters that Jesus had with women in the book of Luke: The Widow of Nain (Luke 7:11-17), The Sinful Woman (Luke 7:36-50), and The Bleeding Woman (Luke 8:40-48). Right from the start, we established that though this is how these women are referred to in our Bible headings, these are not the names that Jesus would have given them. 

Looking specifically at the woman in Luke 7:36-50, we see a woman who must have been used to the whispers of neighbors and the feelings of shame and brokenness. Yet, here in this story she enters a Pharisee's house - despite all the stares and all the comments - in order to lay at Jesus' feet and worship Him with boldness and abandon. Jesus does not insult her or kick her off of him - He lets her touch Him. Jesus sees this woman and He responds to her. In the story we see that Jesus shocks everyone by praising the sinful woman and calling her "forgiven". In her need and in her weakness, Jesus draws near to her. 

Just as the "Forgiven Woman" was given a new name, we also see in Luke 8 that Jesus calls the bleeding woman "Daughter". He knows that she needs not only physical healing but also social healing and the intimacy that she has been without. No more does she have to shout "unclean" every place that she enters - Jesus has made her clean and He has called her His own. Finally, in our Luke 7 passage about the Widow of Nain, we see that Jesus does not leave her hopeless or lacking, but instead He transforms her despair by bringing her new life and new hope. 

When I look at myself, it is true, I am a sinner, broken, wounded, weak, weary, and ashamed... But at retreat this last weekend, we asked the seemingly dangerous question: "What might Jesus' posture be toward you?" I have once again started to find hope that Jesus sees me and He responds. I have started to hope that His words for me are different than the world’s words for me… that those words might include “forgiven, daughter, alive, made whole, healed, restored, unashamed of who I am in Christ..."

Lord, let me hold fast to the hope that You already bore my sin and my shame on the cross. Let me now respond to You - You who have given me reason to sing. Help me run into Your arms as I did when I first came to know You. Let me see that Your grace and love are greater than anything and anyone that stands before me. Let me come before You to worship with boldness, praising You again and again and again. Lord Jesus, make all things new.

“Hold me now

In the hands that created the heavens

Find me now

Where the grace runs as deep as Your scars”

~ Whole Heart (Hold Me Now)

~Taeler Larsen