The creation story. I like to imagine the beautiful garden God created for Adam to tend to, the sunshine flowing through burgeoning bushes and and trees with every plant yielding seed for fruit, and God providing Adam with a lovely lady to make him even more complete.  God was among him and Eve and everything they needed was there, and they didn’t know any differently. Welp, here comes Satan and unfortunately Eve made some poor choices with some tempting fruit, and “Oh no, we’re naked and hiding from God”. 

“Sin is unimaginably destructive”, Justin lead with on Sunday morning in his sermon. Ugh, how true this is. Personally, globally... The current state of the earth is desperate and evil. The human condition is hateful and fragile. Kurdish civilians at the hands of the Iraqi army, mass shootings on the news seemingly monthly, racial injustice, nuclear threats. Optimism is hard to come by, and it seems for some,  there is cause to abandon belief in God all together.

What was once unending, immediate, and bountifully provided, within a few bites of fruit was now cursed with enmity, great pain, and toil. Marriage was once to be harmonious and is now divisive, pain is brought forth at the births of our children, God is farther away from us and we dig through thistles for fruit. 

My husband works in construction and physically labors every day to provide for our family. He comes home covered in who knows what, smelling like a combo of stinky dirt and metal. Laundry is essentially a science experiment at this point. He speaks about the challenges of working with the stereotypical construction worker. Many of the men that are Zach’s coworkers are rough around the edges, and interaction with them consists of toilet humor, insulting remarks, and general pervy-ness. His job is a literal drain on his body and his spirit. 

I was 19 when I married my husband and 19 when I was diagnosed with an endocrine disorder. Early in marriage I experienced multiple pregnancy losses, years of infertility and illness before a successful pregnancy. My daughter Isla is a glance of heaven and a glimmer of grace. I always have to add that she is such a treasured gift that I didn’t think I would receive. After having delivered her, my symptoms and infertility have returned and I have experienced yet another pregnancy loss and am suffering the implications of my chronic illness daily.

It is unfortunate that marriage and commitment is mostly known for it’s inevitable demise, but it’s definitely not inconceivable. It is hard to live harmoniously with another individual when each of you are so different, and you feel the need to control, manipulate, and have the other person meet your very unrealistic expectations. We have the same fights on a feedback loop that don’t resolve. Boy, they sure are petty sometimes though. Zach gets irritated when I take the dirty kitchen towel to the wash and forget to replace it, so he’s left standing there with dripping hands like the world is ending, yelling for me to get a new towel, like he can’t move with wet hands? Also, I get irrationally upset when he makes weird noises with his nose, throat, or mouth. Oh, you’re coming to sit by me while you eat chips and salsa? Go crunch on that elsewhere, please and thanks.  Also, if you plan on having a loud coughing fit, you’re gonna have to go do that in a soundproof box somewhere. Love you though! 

The more tumult I experience in my life, it seems I become increasingly more sarcastic and pessimistic. I struggle in vein to control and fix areas of my life, but my poor attempts are all for naught. I want to live in the garden of Eden, but it is like I am swinging a stick at the heavenly cherubim and flaming sword. 

Pastor Justin asked a question at the end of a sermon in the recent past, “Can you know, and still love?”. It is so hard to be acutely aware of tragedy and depravity happening all around and to us, yet simultaneously know that there is a day coming where restoration and redemption will replace all that has been taken and tainted. 

Our hearts long for children knowing that childbirth is laborious, risky, and painful, because we know that children are an extreme joy and gift in life that will carry our legacy on. We are reliable, hardworking employees because we care for our families, have opportunities in the workplace to bring glimpses of Christ to the lives around us, and look to God to for our livelihood. We set an example in our marriages by working through struggles, praying together, and faithfully exemplifying Christ and His church. 

Adam is cast away and a curse of death is pronounced on him,  but in God’s plan, the curse is part of the cure.  Jesus has died on our behalf so that he can revive us and this shell of the earth that once was. 

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation. If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. (1 Peter 4:12-14)