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A faithful presence of love in the absences of our city.

A Risky Call

a risky call

Justin quoted one of my favorite authors in his sermon on Sunday, and it’s honestly going to take a lot of effort for me not to quote him verbatim throughout this entire post. Curt Thompson is a psychiatrist who studies the intersection between interpersonal neurobiology and Christian spiritual formation. Any quotes in this post can be found in his book, The Soul of Our Shame. 

Throughout the Bookends sermon series we continue to hear how prone we are to hide! We do not want to be seen as “less than” as “not enough” and so we puff up our chests and soldier on, until we think that we truly are “found out”... and then our first response is to hide, blame, deny, distance. Curt Thompson explains how this desire to hide actually points to our constant vulnerability as humans,

“...vulnerability is not something we choose or that is true in a given moment, while the rest of the time it is not. Rather, it is something we are. This is why we wear clothes, live in houses, and have speed limits. So much of what we do in life is designed among other things to protect us from the fact that we are vulnerable at all times...[vulnerability] is something we can hide, but not eliminate. The question then is not if we are or will be vulnerable but rather how and when we enter into it consciously and intentionally for the sake of creating a world of goodness and beauty.”

Entering into moments of vulnerability consciously and intentionally is risky, but it stops shame in it’s tracks. Shame is a foothold for satan to take us down a very dark path of despair and curving inward on ourselves. Vulnerability provides connection and a way out of the darkness, and in practicing vulnerability horizontally, we get a taste of what is offered to us vertically.

“Evil uses shame as a primary emotional leverage, not simply to entice humans to “do something wrong” or “disobey” although that certainly is what they did in the Genesis story, but to disrupt relationships via its access to functions of the mind that do not emerge from the parts of the brain that make us uniquely human. Rather, it activates systems within the brainstem and limbic circuitry that, given our penchant for inattentiveness, wreak havoc on our prefrontal cortices. It utilizes contempt, even in the mildest forms, to create patterns of distress in response to which we create coping strategies--idols-- that forgo relationships for things we believe we can more independently control and that will pose less risk for hurting us in the future.”

Our human brains are particularly vulnerable to being molded by shame! If we’re trying to hide our shame, no way are we naturally inclined to move into vulnerability, a place of exposure and uncertainty. Thompson is explaining that in the little exchanges where we experience shame over and over again, our brains create patterns of distress. Vulnerability could send us down another path, but it’s scary, so instead, we avoid intimate relationships where we might be seen in our darkest spots, and turn to things we think we can control…. A career? Alcohol? Parenting? Food? Porn? Staying busy? Social media?

“But the Biblical narrative tells a different story. One so different, in fact, that in seeing the place of vulnerability in the pages of the Bible we cannot help but be amazed at its place and purpose. It begins in the beginning, where we are introduced to a vulnerable God. Vulnerable in the sense that he is open to wounding. Open to pain. Open to rejection. Open to death.”

God himself practices vulnerability for his people, just as he models every good thing he has called us to (sacrifice, submission, love, justice, rest, mercy, etc.). But, even some of my dearest friends who do not know the Lord can speak to the power of vulnerability and human connection. Hearing someone say “me too”. Having someone stay put in your life once you’ve told them the reality of how anxious you are. Receiving a meal from a friend after opening up about a current struggle. These moments of vulnerability between friends are like a healing salve to our wounded and hiding souls. These moments of vulnerability are a shadow of the fulness of God's presence to us in our deepest wounds and darkest shame. 

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